Fearless Public Speaking Blog

The Fearless Public Speaking Blog is like a chronicle about my public speaking life. This allow you to...

--know when I have added new information, tips or techniques on public speaking.

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Resources

Resources for overcoming your fear of Public Speaking.

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Unreasonably Happy

This is a thought that just came to me as I was driving home this evening from volleyball.

I am unreasonably happy.

Now, some of you might be saying, "What does this have to do with fearless public speaking?" Thing is, I don't really know. Maybe nothing, maybe everything.

What I do know, is that when I am happy, unreasonably happy, things happen. Things come easily. Life becomes easy.

"Sure, easy for you to be so happy." some of you may be thinking.

The thing is, it isn't easy. It takes work. Not everything comes easily to me. There are times when things happen. Someone cuts me off while driving. I get a flat tire in the pouring rain. The kids are destroying the house, screaming, yelling and the phone is ringing off the hook. A speech doesn't go the way I planned it. Nobody laughs at my jokes!

During these moments, it is not easy to be happy. I just want to crawl into a hole and hide.

It takes work. Yet, what I find is if I allow external happenings to dictate how I feel, I am giving my power away. I am saying, "This outside force has the ability to determine how I am feeling." Thing is, I realize this and quickly, sometimes by faking it, (guys can fake it too,) remind myself that I am happy, no matter what.

Why are we scared to speak in public? Present a speech? Stand up and conduct a presentation? We're thinking about the other people. The people watching. The people in the audience. We are giving power, too much power, to them.

I think, and this may only be me, that if I am unreasonably happy, I wouldn't be worried what other people think of me. I wouldn't be worried if I make a mistake. I wouldn't be worried if I forget my lines. And if I'm not worried, then what do I have to be afraid of?

The reason we get 'stage fright' may be because we feel we have something to prove. We have to show we're good at something. Yet, if I'm happy, I have nothing to prove. I'm happy because I choose to be happy!

"I'm happy and I'm going to give this speech. I'll do the best I can and if no one likes it, oh well.
If I forget my lines, oh well.
If I freeze in front of everyone, oh well. I'll probably just start laughing. Why? I'm unreasonably happy."

Does any of this make any sense? If it doesn't, then oh well. I'm still happy.

So, maybe this does have something to do with overcoming your fear of public speaking. Do it for awhile and see what happens. Be happy for no reason.

Remember, you are happy. Even if you don't think you are, just THINK you are. Eventually you'll start believing yourself.

Then, just then, maybe your fear will go away.

And if it doesn't...oh well.

Cheers.

The Perfect Holiday Gift

It's Site Sell's Holiday Gift Time.

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Sitemap

Sitemap for Fearless Public Speaking

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Learning to Overcome Fear

Learn how to face your fear and present to large audiences like the professionals.

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Breathe

It has been a long time since I wrote a blog here. To those that follow my blog I apologize. Things have been busy.

I've spoken in many contests and taken many courses over the last couple of years and what I've come to realize is that Breathing is the most important thing that you can do...especially when speaking.

Ya, I know, we have to breathe or we die. Breathe or die. We don't have a choice. And that's really the truth. We could "die" on stage if we don't breathe.

Breathing, taking a deep breath not only relaxes us, it gets us out of our heads. That is usually the place we are when speaking in front of people. We think, "Will I be funny? What can I say? Does this make sense? What if people think I'm stupid? What if I make a mistake?" Some or all of these thoughts may go through your mind just before or during a presentation in front of an audience.

What a deep breath can do is get you to reconnect with the audience. Getting out of your head and focusing on the audience will bring out the real you. And that's what the audience wants to see.

Don't think about yourself. You can do that after the speech. Think about the people you're speaking to or connecting with. They want you to do well. They want you to make them laugh, make them cry, entertain them, educate them. They are on your side. All they are waiting for is for the REAL you to show up. And when you do, you'll WOW them.

So breathe, breathe, breathe. And let the real YOU shine!

Speak to One Person at a Time.

Most people fear speaking in public because they are anxious about speaking in front of many people. But the secret is, speak only to one person at a time.

That's not to say don't speak to more than a one person audience. What I mean is speak as if you were talking to one person.

It is said that Ronald Reagan, when he was speaking to an audience, imagined that he was speaking to a child, on a bed, who had just fallen off their bike.

I don't know if this is true, but the point is this; it helped him to speak with humility. It caused him to focus on the other person, not on himself. And possibly, it was easier to speak to one person than 10 , 100 or 1000 people at a time.

So, next time you have to speak, focus on one person at a time. Then move to the next and the next. Talk as if it were just you and them in the room. You'll connect with the audience more. They'll feel your authenticity.

And you'll not have to worry about speaking to a large group. You'll only be speaking to one.

Here's to your continued fearless public speaking.

Cheers.

Knowing what you're talking about.

Hello.

Did you know that the biggest fear of public speaking comes from the fear that you don't know what you're talking about? Yes! Most people fear getting in front of people because they think they, "don't know their stuff."

The funny thing is that most of this fear is unfounded. Yes, most of us when we speak DO know what we are talking about. Or else we wouldn't be talking about it.

If you speak with passion, something that you are passionate about and speak from the heart, it doesn't really matter what you are talking about. People will listen. They will hang on every word. They will follow your voice.

Whether you are giving a sales presentation, leading a business meeting or competing in a contest, speaking with passion will endear your audience to you.

The best way to overcome your fear of public speaking may be to find something that you are passionate about. Something that is close to your heart. And talk about it. You will find that the words will come effortlessly. And speaking from the heart is not something that you can fake.

So, know that if you know your "stuff" nothing can stop you. The fear is all in your head. You can do it. Now, just do it.

Cheers.

Stretch Yourself

I just finished competing in a speech contest and I had a lot of fun.I must say that at first I didn't want to compete. Why? Well it takes preparation, time and not to mention some pressure and nervousness. But, I can't begin to tell you the feeling once I had finished. You see, fear is not really real. We can't touch it. We can't see it. It is only in our heads. And 99% of the time, (maybe 100% for some,) what we were fearful of never really happens.)

Mark Twain said it best;

"I've had many problems in my life, some of which actually happened."

Even after all these years of speaking, I still get my mind playing tricks on me. But I've learned not to listen to it. I've learned to remember the feeling of accomplishment once the speech is finished. Remember that feeling. Because before you speak, your mind will be saying, "What if!" What if this happens or that happens. And I've never had 'this' or 'that' happen. And each time you take one little step, make a speech, ask a question, do something to overcome your fear of public speaking, you are one step closer to succeeding. (Succeeding in overcoming your mind. Because that is where the real 'fear' is.)

So when you get the chance to speak, don't say no. Take the challenge. Stretch yourself. Because if your not growing...your dieing.

Here's to fearless public speaking.

Cheers.

How to practise being nervous.

This idea was shared with me by a Toastmaster's colleague.

If your heart starts to pound, you have shaky legs and feel out of breath when you speak, practise speaking when you are in this state. How? Well, one way is to run up a flight of stairs. When you get to the top and you are breathing heavy and your legs feel weak then start speaking or practise your speech. In this way, you are practising to be nervous.

My basketball coach always stated to practise shooting foul shots at the end of a practise because you will be tired, hot and sweaty. And this is the state you will be in during a game when you take a foul shot. So, when speaking, you might as well emulate being in that 'nervous' state. Eventually, you will be so used to speaking when your heart is pounding that you will overcome your nervousness. It will just become second nature.

Plus, you'll get in great shape practising your speeches. Happy running.